Top 20 Status

______   is waiting for boomerangs to make a comeback

______  is always told alcohol doesn’t solve any problems…but then again, neither does milk.
reminds us that two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane

______ Wow, it’s beautiful outside. I should probably do something… Like close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.

_____ Smile and the whole world smiles with you, Fart and enjoy some quiet time.

______ says never put off till tomorrow what you can just ignore indefinitely

______ You are a 9.9999. You’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me

____ says yes I admit I’m STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

facebook is the only place where it is acceptable to talk to a wal

……Behind every great woman is a man checking out her ass….

…the words ‘multi-tasking’ were invented for the day women had to learn to juggle housework with Facebook

‹(•¿•)›♥♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥♥‹(•¿•)›

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

______  is so busy doing nothing that the idea of doing anything, which always leads to something, cuts into the nothing and then forces him to have to drop everything

Wow, it’s beautiful outside. I should probably do something… Like close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶

♬ ♫ ♪ ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♪ ♫ ♬

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Funny Facebook Status

When you raise your arms, your B.O can K.O someone. Please, invest in some deodorant.

The trumpeter blew it while auditioning for the symphony.

When I say ‘I MISS SCHOOL’ it means my ‘FRIENDS AND THE FUN’ not the ‘SCHOOL’

Getting older means I no longer have the energy to do many of the things I enjoy in life, for example being awake.

I remember going on a school field trip, and realizing the bus ride was the best part.

Edward isn’t a vampire. He lives in a forest, he doesn’t eat people and he sparkles… He’s obviously a fairy.

Consider power as NOT getting people to obey you but getting people to work in harmony with you with the go

God created the earth, God created the woods,
God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

I love all the stars in the sky
but they r nothing compared to
the ones in your eyes

If i were a tear in ur eye i wood
roll down onto ur lips.But if u were
a tear in my eye i wood never cry as
i wood be afraid 2 lose u!

What’s common between the sun & women’s underwear?
a) Both are hot
b) Both look better while going down
c) Both disappear by night.

Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you’re ready.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Do you ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?’

Sorry, I am having an out of money experience…

*****************

I can please only one person per day.
second day is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

I am a killer,I kill people for money.
But because you are my friend,
I will kill you for nothing!

two childrn were sitting outside a clinic. one of them was crying
1st Child: why are you crying?
2nd Child: I came here for a blood test
1st Child: So? are you scared?
2nd Child: No. for the blood test, they cut my fingr
At this, the 1st one started crying loudly
the 2nd one was astonishd
2nd Child: why are you crying now?
1st Child: I came for a urine test!

A Srdar was sitting outside a store, crying. the manager of the store spoted him outside & ask what,s wrong.
Sardar said his mother just died, & the manager said – “Oh I am sorry.
The Sardar’s cell ph start ring and he answerd it, saying – “Hello! Haanji. are you serius?” Then, he kept down the ph
the manager ask him who that was & the Sardar said – “that was my sister?her mom just died too!”

Son asks difference between Confidence and Confidential
Dad tells, you are my son I’m Confident.
your friend is too my son, that,s Confidential

Babblo nay ENGLISH k paper k liye
“MY BEST FRIEND” k essay taiyar kya
lakin paper may “MY FATHER” ka essay a gya.
Us ny socha k “MY BEST FRIEND” k essay he likhta hu lakin
FRIEND k jagha FATHER ko likh doon ga.
Ab ESSAY kuch u tha
. “Father aer everywhere but good father rare very rair.
I have so many father but my best father is MR.Samar.
He is my naibour
. He often come to my house
and my Mother like him very much

God saw your parents hungry, he created meal
God saw they are thirsty, he created coke
He saw them walking, he created car
He saw them without problems, he created you.

Angel askd a man after death:

Kia tm shadi shuda thy?
Man: Yes

Angel Orderd:
Yah dozak bhugat k aaya hy isay jannat main daal do.

Angel ask same question to another man.
Man: 2 baar shaadi ke the.

Angel orderd: Isy dozakh main daal do. issy dozakh main rahny ke aadat ho gai hy.

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud

is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

Taylor  is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

Did u know that when some1 annoys u, it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack’em in the head

̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!

Kristina  is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years

Roxanne  dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)

Ian  feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

Steven Card  is wondering…. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

٥ﺎ ٱц =)

Jane is wondering what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow

Don’t wait for the perfect moment…Take the moment and make it perfect…

Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.

Jake used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she’s good at everything.

Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall

☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶*´¨`*:.

was playing “FARMVILLE” when immigration showed up and took all my workers ! ! !

John is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today

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Love Facebook Status

the mind forgets but the heart always remembers…. ♥ ♥ ♥

If your love doesn’t work with that person, it just means that somebody else will love you more.

Men are confident because they grow up with Superheroes. Women are self conscious because they grow up comparing themselves to Barbie

Sometimes we have to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, and just see what happens.

Once you get jealous, that’s the time you could say that you really do love that person. Jealousy is not a sign of no trust but a sign of possessiveness. A sign that you’re afraid that someone might steal your special someone away from you. It’s not a sign of immaturity, but rather a sign of love

When its been a minute since you two have talked and you miss him already, you know you’re falling in love. ♥

The best quote isn’t having the words of the longest or the most beautiful, but the one that best matches our feelings when we read it.

Dear whoever is reading this, you’re beautiful and someone out there is crazy about you. So smile. Life is too short to be unhappy

The best feeling is falling in love with your bestfriend, you may act anything and hide nothing anymore.

Why is it that we don’t always recognize the moment love begins, but we always recognize the moment it ends?

It’s better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves. any idea?

Not everyone you love is going to love you back , thats why it’s important to love yourself.

Don’t ever try to forget, even when you don’t want to remember. Because the more you try to forget, the more you miss that person.

The first love is always the sweetest, but the first cut is always the deepest.

‎’ℒℴѵℯ’ isn’t about flirting, hugs, kisses and sex. ‘ℒℴѵℯ’ is about taking all those things away and still having feelings for that person ♥

I will never regret you, because once upon a time, you were exactly what I needed, but God took you away for a reason

‎’Silence’ is a girl’s loudest cry. You can always tell she’s really hurt when she starts ignoring you

Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost and what you took for granted

Having a crush can impact your ability to concentrate and can result in reduced productivity, quality of work, motivation and energy.

Sometimes you need to have dated all the wrong people to appreciate the right person whenever they come around.

Money can’t buy LOVE. That’s why people steal HEARTS

if only i have the courage to stand up for him,
if only i could tell him that there’s no need to hide,
if only i could let them know that their love for each other is beautiful too,
if only i could show her how much she means to me,
if only gay people would stop feeling guilty for being different,
if only the world could see what i see.

Love is like a joke. Sometimes it’s fun, but sometimes it hurts.

Once you have feelings for someone, those feelings will always be there. You may not like them anymore, but you still care.

It’s hard watching people change infront of you. But the hardest part is remembering who they used to be.

f someone SERIOUSLY wants to be a part of your life, they will SERIOUSLY make an effort to be in it.

If someone really loves you, they wouldn’t let you slip away, no matter how hard the situation is.

The worst feeling in the world is when you can’t love anyone else, because your heart still belongs to the one who broke it.

To fall in love is very easy, Staying in love is a challenge, Letting go is the hardest part, And moving on is a damn suicide.

You don’t have to be perfect to let somebody love you. Remember, being yourself is the best way to make somebody fall in love with you.

People make such a big deal about looks, but after a while, when you love someone, you don’t even notice anymore.

Find someone who isn’t afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows you’re not perfect, but treats you as if you are.

It’s not hard to sacrifice something for someone but it’s hard to find that someone who deserves your sacrifice.

Love I have destroyed the bridges behind me so that I could only move forward.Quotes

If we never felt pain, we could never be human…

LOVE is like jumping off a 100 floor building..only two things could happen..either you crash down and die..or someone will be there to catch you..but you’ll never know, unless you JUMP ♥

Can someone really survive when their other half is missing?

If you can’t find true love maybe your not looking in the right places.

He could hear it in her voice; she just couldn�t do it anymore

A doomed love story, painted on a grand canvas.

I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and walk away.

Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile. :)

I have destroyed the bridges behind me so that I could only move forward.

Stop saying I love you. Start proving it.

Think of me any way you want. I can be the problem if that’s easier. In your head, move the pieces around. Things I’ve said, turn the memory upside down. And it makes it better I know, but sometimes it’s hard to swallow

It’s not up to me anymore. If you want me in your life, you’ll find a way to put me there

For example, a man who quit smoking for eleven years spent fifteen seconds in an elevator smoking a cigarette and he gave in. What I’m trying to say is
I think I love you again.

My heart is broken but love survives in all the little pieces. they shine like glass reflecting glimpses of the past. a glass photo albumn cut into little pieces….so many memories….so much love….so broken…but always remaining

Young love is dumb love. Whatever you may call it, it’s still love. So what should it matter?

i don’t wanna fall for you..coz you might just fall for me too..and baby, it’s gonna be both tragic and magic :3 ♥

“I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me. Thinkin about us, what we gonna be? Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.”

you are my affliction..yet you are my addiction.

i wish you would stop dominating my dreams..maybe then it’d be easier for me to move on…

just hearing your voice..would have changed my mind completely…

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PRIVACY POLICY