When you raise your arms, your B.O can K.O someone. Please, invest in some deodorant.
The trumpeter blew it while auditioning for the symphony.
When I say ‘I MISS SCHOOL’ it means my ‘FRIENDS AND THE FUN’ not the ‘SCHOOL’
Getting older means I no longer have the energy to do many of the things I enjoy in life, for example being awake.
I remember going on a school field trip, and realizing the bus ride was the best part.
Edward isn’t a vampire. He lives in a forest, he doesn’t eat people and he sparkles… He’s obviously a fairy.
Consider power as NOT getting people to obey you but getting people to work in harmony with you with the go
God created the earth, God created the woods,
God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
I love all the stars in the sky
but they r nothing compared to
the ones in your eyes
If i were a tear in ur eye i wood
roll down onto ur lips.But if u were
a tear in my eye i wood never cry as
i wood be afraid 2 lose u!
What’s common between the sun & women’s underwear?
a) Both are hot
b) Both look better while going down
c) Both disappear by night.
Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you’re ready.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Do you ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?’
Sorry, I am having an out of money experience…
*****************
I can please only one person per day.
second day is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
I am a killer,I kill people for money.
But because you are my friend,
I will kill you for nothing!
two childrn were sitting outside a clinic. one of them was crying
1st Child: why are you crying?
2nd Child: I came here for a blood test
1st Child: So? are you scared?
2nd Child: No. for the blood test, they cut my fingr
At this, the 1st one started crying loudly
the 2nd one was astonishd
2nd Child: why are you crying now?
1st Child: I came for a urine test!
A Srdar was sitting outside a store, crying. the manager of the store spoted him outside & ask what,s wrong.
Sardar said his mother just died, & the manager said – “Oh I am sorry.
The Sardar’s cell ph start ring and he answerd it, saying – “Hello! Haanji. are you serius?” Then, he kept down the ph
the manager ask him who that was & the Sardar said – “that was my sister?her mom just died too!”
Son asks difference between Confidence and Confidential
Dad tells, you are my son I’m Confident.
your friend is too my son, that,s Confidential
Babblo nay ENGLISH k paper k liye
“MY BEST FRIEND” k essay taiyar kya
lakin paper may “MY FATHER” ka essay a gya.
Us ny socha k “MY BEST FRIEND” k essay he likhta hu lakin
FRIEND k jagha FATHER ko likh doon ga.
Ab ESSAY kuch u tha
. “Father aer everywhere but good father rare very rair.
I have so many father but my best father is MR.Samar.
He is my naibour
. He often come to my house
and my Mother like him very much
God saw your parents hungry, he created meal
God saw they are thirsty, he created coke
He saw them walking, he created car
He saw them without problems, he created you.
Angel askd a man after death:
Kia tm shadi shuda thy?
Man: Yes
Angel Orderd:
Yah dozak bhugat k aaya hy isay jannat main daal do.
Angel ask same question to another man.
Man: 2 baar shaadi ke the.
Angel orderd: Isy dozakh main daal do. issy dozakh main rahny ke aadat ho gai hy.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
Taylor is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
Did u know that when some1 annoys u, it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack’em in the head
̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
Kristina is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years
Roxanne dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
Ian feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
Steven Card is wondering…. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
٥ﺎ ٱц =)
Jane is wondering what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow
Don’t wait for the perfect moment…Take the moment and make it perfect…
Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.
Jake used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she’s good at everything.
Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall
☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶*´¨`*:.
was playing “FARMVILLE” when immigration showed up and took all my workers ! ! !
John is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today
